Concluding from the last post on handling haters…

4. Don’t listen: Listen, Then don’t listen. Don’t accept “constructive criticism” from people who have never constructed anything. Let me give you an example. Someone once came to me saying that “people” say that my Facebook posts are patriarchal. I told her that these “people“ were free to block me on Facebook or unfriend me. This same person told me the same thing a few months later. Now in my personal experience, most people reach out to me about my Facebook posts are not saying that. I generally get positive responses, people want to sign up to have me coach them; and people buy my products just off my Facebook posts. I quickly classified this person’s observations under the category of “don’t listen”. When I started doing events as part of my speaking/coaching business, someone approached me, and in a derisive manner wanted to know “what was all this that I was doing?” The person tried to talk me out of my dreams. Most other people however were happy for me, supportive, and quite willing to attend my events. Guess what? I did not listen to the negative critical people.

5. Prioritize your personal growth: Jesus said, “remove the plank from your eye before you remove the speck from your neighbors eye”.  This basically means mind yourself, don’t be a hypocrite; get rid of your “big flaws” before you point out your neighbors called “little flaws”. This means that if I am focused each day on becoming a better person, I won’t be worrying too much about what other people are doing. If you are growing and changing, the people who are not meant to be on the journey with you will eventually leave you alone. Do your own into work and focus less on haters.

6. Be love and light: Don’t be offended. Learn to see people through the eyes of compassion. Don’t take things personal. Don’t get angry at folks who do not know anything about you. Transcend and elevate. Uplevel your thinking. Live happy. Do not descend to the level of negative and critical people. The Bible says and I paraphrase: “do not get tired of doing good, because you will reap a reward for your persistence in good works“. Don’t get bitter, get better and better at doing the good that you do.

7. Stop explaining: It is a waste of time to keep on explaining yourself to negative critical people. You cannot reason people out of a position that reason did not get them into. Stop defending and explaining. A few years ago, someone tried to get me on a different path than what I knew was authentic for me. I tried to explain what I was doing and the reasons behind it. I explained and explained. I defendant and defended. By the end of this hour long conversation, I was emotionally overwrought. I was ready to give up, give out, and give in. I had to call a close friend and confidant who prayed for me. The next day I realized a powerful truth. Explaining and defending will get you nowhere with some people. After that, I was done, I was free! Remember this, even Jesus told his disciples that if they entered a town, and were not received, they should shake the dust of the town of their feet, and leave! Sometimes, you have to metaphorically shake off peoples dust and leave.

8. You need mental toughness and grit: Continuing on from point number seven- In anything that you want to do in life, you will meet some type of resistance, internal and external. You need to brace yourself and decide that no one is going to send you running home with your tail between your legs. One of the ways to develop mental toughness is to remember your “whys”. Why are you doing what you are doing anyway? When you remember your “whys”, embody them. Let them become part and parcel of who you are. Stay true to your convictions. Don’t let everyone and anyone knock you off the course with negativity. Don’t let anyone and everyone have access to your emotions. A lot of people act from a place of their own dysfunction or biases. Truth be told, haters are unhappy people. Who wants their lives to be ruled by unhappy people? Not me. Do not give negativity the satisfaction of winning.

In conclusion, how do you handle haters? Please share in the comments below.

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